claris-luigi

(Fire) The summer sun followed my tracks that day like the memory of his hands and how they burned under my skin. I was the forest and he was the fire, destroying all in his path, blinded by his own smoke. I was untouchable before he came too close. (Ash) I washed him away many years ago but I remain black and charred. I still choke when I smell smoke on the horizon. (Sometimes I inhale cigarettes and run my fingers through the lighter’s flame. I deserve the hurt that comes with this.) (Rain) Everybody assumes the falling of rain soothes it all and when the rain found me, something I’d forgotten within my chest began to beat aga

How many times have I tried to wash you out from under my skin? I’ve been itching, scratching, trying to scrape you all away but you altered the shape of my goddamn veins. You’re etched right in there, engraved so deep. You carved your name into me and I cannot fucking sleep. So please know that when I slash my arms, my thigh,   and sometimes linger with the blade at my throat,   I’m only trying to set you free.

You stare at me with those big beautiful fucking hazel eyes place your hand on mine and softly say “you deserve to be happy” and I’m too much of a fucking coward to say that I am happy just not when I’m with you.

I’m far from the only one, but quite often during a silent, dry eyed three in the morning train of thought I picture her great dark eyes glistening and stifle a fit of tears from my own and I think about what a shame it is that I only ever admired her from afar. her infectious laugh echoes in my ears escaping from a crimson smile that no longer appears in this world and I’m just sad that I only awkwardly wrapped my arms around her thin, frail body on two or three occasions and not once did I think to linger and strike up a conversation that wasn’t behind an anonymous voice. and selfish, selfish me, I wish ther

I think I’ve forgotten what it’s like to run sweaty hands through a lover’s hair. and the concept of breathing against someone else’s throat while two heartbeats drum in sync through two thin walls of skin is something alien to me.